got me a college girl

in celebration of formal education in the life of the Christian girl

Monday, August 08, 2005

College Made Me a Better Wife (Kristen)

My husband loves to talk to me about a wide variety of things. He expects me to articulate my point of view well, and also be able to articulate any other point of view as well, to play the devil's advocate comfortably. I would not have had those skills or the broad knowledge I draw from if I hadn't gone to college. I'm not saying it's impossible to learn those things without college. It's difficult though, outside of an intellectual community like a university. I'm glad that my husband recognizes how helpful my education was in making me the wife he needs me to be.


  • At 7:46 AM, Blogger Theresa said…

    I am glad that college was the means for you to learn to help your husband in this way. But why do Christian women have to seperate into two camps about the issue of a college education? This is truly confusing to me.
    I certainly don't want to apply my discomfiture about this blog only to your post. But surely young women could be encouraged and assisted to be helpers to their husbands in all the many facets of their wifely vocation without this distracting argument. Why should a woman be supposed to be lacking if she is without a degree? I would not try to make you out to be lacking for your endeavors because your parents did not provide you with this intellectual training and broad knowledge before you were 18.

    I do not wish to argue with you about college education, because I do not think it would be a useful argument for us to have. But I do wish that I could understand why you think it is so important to emphasize college education as vital to a Christian woman's life. Do you really think this, or is it simply a reaction to something offensive you perceive in the "other camp"?

    Your sister in Christ,

  • At 8:50 AM, Blogger greenemama said…

    i think it's interesting, theresa, that you believe that "tnis intellectual training and broad knowledge" can be provided to a child who is under the age of 18.

    slightly off topic, but perhaps if you would elaborate on your position here we would understand more of the "why" behind your question. do you believe that college should be redundant for a well educated 18 year old?

  • At 9:35 AM, Blogger kristen said…

    This isn't a reaction to something in "the other camp" at all. I had a broad, liberal arts education in college that was completely beyond anything I could have learned from my parents, Christian families in the church or self-learning. I learned bioethics from a professional bioethicist who used to serve on a hospital ethics committee. Everything I learned about, I learned from an expert. When professors weren't experts on a subject, they were almost always humble enough to admit it and get guest lecturers to provide more in-depth knowledge to their students. The lecture and discussion portions of class taught me beyond what the readings themselves alone could have taught me. Also, my ability to argue any position (with enough emotional detatchment and knowledge to be convincing) is something I was not mature enough for before I was eighteen. Even before I was twenty.

    But, the point of my original post was that MY husband needed an intellectual sparring partner in the woman he married. Not every man does. My husband has even said on numerous occasions that he needed a college girl for a wife, but that doesn't mean that every woman must go to college so that they can marry a man who desires a woman with a fully orbed liberal arts education as a helpmate.

  • At 9:39 AM, Blogger prairie girl said…


    You have proven a point that I have made with my own must find a helpmate that is a helpmate to YOU not some woman who is defined as the perfect helpmate by someone else! One another note, that is why I find the idea of betrothal so bizarre....I WANT my children to experience the sparks that Clay and I still have after all these years. And yes, some of those sparks fly as we share intellectual, formal-education inspired conversation! :)

  • At 9:45 AM, Blogger prairie girl said…

    In responding to this statement, Theresa, "I would not try to make you out to be lacking for your endeavors because your parents did not provide you with this intellectual training and broad knowledge before you were 18." I would say that as a person who has a vision for home education, a large of part of educating our children as they grow up is to provide them with tutors and instructors who can teach them things Clay and I cannot teach them. It drives me crazy when a mother, for example,will take a few beginning piano lessons so that she can teach her children piano herself rather than have a professionally trained teacher do so. Why not have a child study with a master? And besides, I really want my children to have more than broad knowledge before I consider them educated.

  • At 12:59 PM, Blogger Theresa said…

    Sometimes I think I communicate very badly indeed. Ah, well. What I meant to communicate with my comment was that it would be ludricous for me to look down on ANYONE because of their "intellectual training and broad knowledge before... 18" While the discussions of whether this is possible, and whether experts should be involved sound interesting, I did not intend to introduce them. I tried to say that it sounded like Kristen was saying that a woman would not be the best helper she could be if she didn't go to college. And saying that, is as ludricous as my saying I found her lacking because of, well, you know. :-) Kristen, thank you for your clarification, as I now understand that you were speaking of a more specific situation. I too, appreciate that couples are different from each other, and find it a constant marvel and joy how God matches up the people who need each other.

    I am one of the people you are trying to combat with this blog, I guess, since I don't thing college is a good choice for very many people. I do not see this as a women's issue, however.

    I still "wish that I could understand why you think it is so important to emphasize college education as vital to a Christian woman's life." If anyone wants to comment on that, I would appreciate it, as I don't see views on college as being an important debate in the church right now. (Which is why I haven't commented before and probably won't again). But I am trying to understand why y'all find it so important and have chosen to address it in this way, since it IS important to you and you take an oppositional position to mine. Please know that I am just trying to understand, and not debate at this time. I hope that this second comment has revealed, rather than further concealed my first post.


  • At 12:19 PM, Blogger greenemama said…

    theresa: please note the recent post attempting to answer your question.


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